Coalition

The Coalition is a tyrannical organization bent on the destruction of the center of the universe, which is to say Directus. No one is quite sure why the Coalition hates Directus so much, but its probably for the same reason they hate puppies and the hopes and dreams of children. If the Coalition was likened to a baseball team they would be the Red Sox because they not only suck, but are a nonexistent entity in Osea. If they were likened to an animal they would be a snail because everybody hates snails. The monk, Flement, recounted in his biography of a sect of Oramon which believed one could achieve divine inspiration by by beating one’s head with a plank of wood - which they turned to whenever a problem presented itself. As a whole, this is a pretty good metaphor for the Coalition. If the Coalition were a fish, it would be the first fish in existence to find a way to drown. An anagram for “Coalition” is “I ain’t cool”. Whether this is coincidental, or else the direct work of the gods intervening with the evolution of the Common Tongue in order to birth this subtle message, is unclear. In any case, the message still holds true as the Coalition and its members are decidedly uncool. Moreover, if you were to take the word "coalition", spell it backwards, and pronounce it out loud in an authoritative manner, then you would sound just as stupid as a member of the Coalition. The philosopher Tyygur stated that man's life in a state of nature is nasty, brutish, and short, and that we form societies and relinquish certain freedoms in order to escape from this state. Had Tyggur lived long enough to have known of the Coalition, he would have revised this theory. If one were to write a book on the Coalition's accomplishments, it would be an inherently short book with a lot of pictures and a large bold font. Anything more substantial would have to be about some other Coalition - the Coalition of Ornamental Duck Carvers, perhaps. However, the truth of the matter is that nobody really hates the Coalition. And by nobody, I of course mean Sir Roderique F. Nobody who, much like everybody, absolutely despises the Coalition.